i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
