i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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