I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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