Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
