can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
