I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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