i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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