obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
is this the sara with the beer cane?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I wear drunk well.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
