i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
