Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
