I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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