I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
