i barfeds in our rink
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
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