He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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