I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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