Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
