CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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