69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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