So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
we made out on top of his cat.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize