My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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