This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize