dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
