yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
