3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Shame - the story of my life.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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