I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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