It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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