i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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