Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
