Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
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