apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
