Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
