Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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