This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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