Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
