I have demons in me.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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