Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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