New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
