Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
