I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
