No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
