May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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