When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
