You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
should my penis look like a turkey
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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