I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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