Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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