Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
