Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
