so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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