i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
