Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
