You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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