i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize