i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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