frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
