i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
