I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I didn't notice because vodka
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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