Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
