Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
