Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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